So again, I do the same thing. I write for a few days and abandon it.
It's not that I don't WANT to write, it's that I don't know WHAT to write. This, of course, was the main idea behind starting the blog in the first place, to write about anything, everything and nothing.
As a matter of fact, I've always wanted to write. Whether it would be a book, short story or even comic book, I truly have no idea and the only thing I can think to write about is basically nothing. I hesitate to do this because it was obviously been done before. I call this predicament the "Seinfeld". So when I find the itch to write and have nothing to write about, do I write about anything in particular or nothing?
Perhaps the most important question is "just because it's been done before, why can't I do it again?" This, to me, is a very good and honest question and the answer is, obviously, that of course you can do it again. But then it's not original and that drives me crazy. I keep thinking that I have to come up with something interesting and original to write about. But why?
At this point, I'm finding more and more that there are very few original ideas out there. Just look at the movie industry for example. How many sequels and remakes are we going to see? I also look at Architecture. I have spent countless hours (and dollars) studying architecture in order to create new, interesting surroundings for everyone to enjoy. This is all fantastic in theory, but frankly, it's bullshit. Every graduate of architecture school believes they are going to get into the real world and change it. That's a great thought, but more often than not, just that. A thought. It's not that I don't think things can be changed. In fact, I hope that it can. But it feels like everything has been done before. But again I hit that nagging question...so what?
This seems like a negative entry I would imagine, but I don't see it that way. It almost feels like a sense of freedom. I'm trying to not pressure myself into coming up with this "almighty solution" to every problem. Now I'm trying to look at things in a way that I'm not going to try to create a new idea, but simply improve on existing ones. In a way that I can educate myself on things to the point where I understand them better than those around me. Who knows, at some point, maybe something original will come out of it....but honestly, who cares?
I seem to go through these phases in my mind of weeks where I feel like nothing is going right and then there are those where nothing can go wrong. I get through the bad weeks knowing that the good weeks have to be around the corner. This works the other way too. When things are going all to well, I suddenly realize what "state" I'm in and it occurs to me that the bad weeks are coming up soon...and of course, at that moment, the good weeks begin to disappear. It's not that I don't enjoy the good weeks. I do. To put these feelings in perspective, imagine a typical 9-5 work week. The good has the same feeling as Friday and Saturday night. You know you don't have work the next day, so you just relax. Then Sunday comes and starts raining on your parade with a big sign that says, "MONDAY'S COMING". The worst thing about this parade is that nothing, not even weather, can stop it.
I've found the absolute best time is the time in between the good and bad, call it "The Wednesday". I'm generally in a good mood because I know the weekend is coming up and that the worst part of the week is behind me.
It's all perspective. At the end of the day, you just have to do what makes you happy. Try to find something that when you do it or think of it, it makes you proud, it makes you smile, makes you laugh. It's the only way to survive.
Hey, I think I just wrote something....
